Tuesday, August 10, 2010

She only drinks coffee at midnight....

"Meet Virginia" comes on the radio and instantly my mind transports back to a sixteen year old me sitting on the lunch table outside the high school ministry office listening to him play guitar and sing. This holds no importance in my current life other than a fond memory of a time when he was everything and all I could do was smile. Our lives took very different paths, but I listen to the song with a smile and remember what it felt like to be sixteen without a worry in the world other than how to make moments like "Meet Virginia" last.

Music possesses the ability to impact our lives even when we are unaware of it. It embeds itself in our brains and makes itself known sometimes when we least expect it. When I was seventeen I worked at Tilly's. They played the same cds over and over and over again, so much so, that to this day when I hear certain songs, I begin to sing what would follow it on those cds.

The memory associated with a song can also put a negative spin on a song you once loved. For instance, John Mayer's "St. Patrick's Day" has been tainted by the past. "In the dark, on the phone, you tell me the names of your brothers/and your favorite colors, I'm learning you," croons Mayer in the second verse. While it is a very sweet couple of lines, it reminds me every time of someone I was once very close with. Things did not end on a positive note (let's just say we don't speak anymore), hence the negative connotations it holds for me. However, it is John Mayer and if you know me, you know it will never be completely soured. On the other hand, I will never be able to listen to John Legend again.

There is something inexplicably special about music. The way it makes you think or feel in that moment you first hear it. The way it can take you back in time no matter how long its been. The way it can draw people closer together. The way it can help you forget. There is something so serene about getting lost in a song, I will never have the words to describe it. But I will tell you one thing for sure, if there is music attached to a memory of you, it is safe to say I will remember you for all my life.

Monday, August 2, 2010

One song ends, another begins

Every song has a CODA, a final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away. Every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music? The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life.

The quote is from the third season of One Tree Hill, my favorite television show. It always reminds me of the way people say "no regrets," and though it is referring to the end of a loved one's life, it has come to be personal to me in the end of friendships. Living with no regrets is easier said then done but our society is full of actors who have taken role, and sometimes even believe that they have no regrets. Some people have recently drifted from my life and the initial response was to be hurt or saddened by the turn of events, but that has changed. I have embraced the OTH quote. As much as I wish the song would play on repeat forever, I am better for having heard it at all. The song was one of the best in that moment. I won't every forget it, but I won't search for repeat. To that song: I will always be here for you when and if you need me, but I won't sit around waiting for you to play again.

With that said, let's talk mid-year resolutions or as I referred to them at New Year's: changes. I know it can be sort of a joke because nobody really takes New Year's resolutions seriously, but changes can happen at any time. I've come to an age where I realize it is much harder to recover. Whether it be from an injury, illness, or a late night, my body is aging and I have to take better care of it. One major aspect is diet. I will still indulge in my occasional Del Taco and TK Burger, but I must forego the fast food diet that has been so easy to succumb to as of late. I am here, before you, committing myself to a healthier lifestyle. It doesn't end at food. The gym. My relationship with the gym is comparable to that I have with guys. I can see the benefit of being in a relationship, but I can also think of every reason in the book to avoid it. Unfortunately the latter always wins out. But here I am saying I will take care of myself with all of you as my witnesses because now I am accountable to an audience, however small it may be. With diabetes, high blood pressure, and obesity in the family, this is one thing I can't afford to waiver on any longer. So there you go: Be healthy. That is my DAILY resolution.